forgiveness of self? [So many people] are beating themselves down for getting laid off or getting dumped or losing the house or whatever. How does one... forgive themselves for circumstances that they may have created or not created?

I appreciate you trusting me with your questions. First, let me make sure we are on the same page… In my mind “forgiveness of self” is just another way to describe “guilt and shame”. If that is an accurate interpretation of what you intended to say then we are indeed on the same page. So the question can be reworded as” how does one overcome ‘guilt and shame’ for circumstances that they may have created or not created?

To overcome guilt/shame of any kind we must first have to understand that GUILT and SHAME are the OPPOSITE… the exact opposite of being RESPONSIBLE and having FAITH. Read that again and let it sink in a bit… GUILT and SHAME are the OPPOSITE of being RESPONSIBLE and having FAITH.

Faith is our belief in the promises of God no matter what we might see, hear, or think. Faith is the sum of an ‘illogical dependence’ and its related actions all based on the promises of God. Simply put… We believe God’s report over whatever might be going on in our life because we know that He is ultimately in charge. So then, what is shame?

Shame is our disbelief in the promises of God based solely on what we can do, see, hear, and think. Shame is our ‘logical response’ to things that happen in our life when we feel like we should have been able to handle it. In a nutshell, shame is what we feel when we tried to take charge and we messed it up… Shame is the absence of faith. Just like darkness is the absence of light and cold is the absence of heat… shame is the absence of faith.

So don’t waste your time trying to get rid of shame, because the only thing that can do that is get more faith. You don’t need LESS shame bruh… you need MORE faith. So to overcome shame we must not dwell on it, but instead focus our energy on building our faith. The Bible teaches us that faith comes by hearing, and [true] hearing by the word of God. This means that we need to first know what the promises of God are before we can profess to believe them. This builds our faith and does away with our shame.

The exact same things can be said for the relationship between GUILT and being RESPONSIBLE. GUILT is the feeling we get when we don’t take responsibility for our actions. So to feel less GUILT we have to BE more responsible… Take responsibility for what you’ve done in the past, what you plan to do today, and what is going to happen to you in the future. Your responsibility coupled with an increased faith creates an environment in your life where guilt and shame become powerless over you.

People who beat themselves up are ultimately denying the power of God. They are denying and/or disbelieving that God can indeed make EVERYTHING that is happening, will happen, or has ever happened, work out in their favor. Stand on God’s promises and the flood of shame and guilt can’t get to you. Figure out what and how God would have you conduct yourself at home, on the job, and with your friends/family… then guilt and shame will not be an issue.

This advice is not about undoing anything… This advice is that you will stand up and take responsibility for your life and everything in it. And with the power of God’s promises begin to move forward in Faith, Responsibility, and Love… guilt and shame no matter how deep, how dark, or how menacing are no match for a man that decides in his heart to do that. Hope that helps fam.

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