Sounds like you might have helped me write a few of my Facebook status updates concerning this very thing.
#1: To defend hurtful actions w/ "that's just the way I am" is a confession that your love of God is not yet BIG enough to change you.
#2: We were 'saved' from "that's just the way I am"... Jesus died so that we don't have to “be that way”. We are "new creatures" free to change our mind and change our life... unless we just choose to “be that way”.
#3: A Moment of Clarity :: "That's just the way I am" is a cop out. That's lazy, ignorant, and trifling talk for unbelievers. You are ultimately who you "choose" to be. Yeah, it may take some time and effort, but you can change your mind (and therefore your attitude) about anything. It's your birthright because the brain is designed that way. "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he." Prov 23:7
Thanks for stopping by fam.
=========================
To find my books or CDs please visit: http://www.BoSpeaks.com/
=========================
Steven “Bo” Beaudoin Jr.
Husband, Father, Friend, Mentor, Author, Speaker, Trainer, Professional Life/Relationship Coach, Entrepreneur, and Philanthropist. A champion of Christ centered clarity, motivation, and focus.
2M Communications ©2012 Copyright, Steven Beaudoin Jr. All Rights Reserved.
Monday, April 9, 2012
"Accept me for who I am." This is said everything. Working out, attitudes, style of dress, smoking, it just seems like an excuse not to address issues. For things you can't change (height, color, etc), that makes sense. But is this just a cop out mostly?
Why is it that when a nice looking woman has a smile on her face, a positive attitude and a friendly disposition.....guys automatically try to hit on her whether they are involved with someone else or not, young and old?
sis you can stop your description above at "a nice looking woman"... the smile, positive attitude, and friendly disposition are helpful but not necessary. Since the beginning of time men have taken notice of attractive women. But men respected women because they respected themselves... Not so much anymore. The "average" woman no longer feels strongly about boundaries and faith based convictions. And the "average" woman is actually open to anyone showing her some attention. Because of this the "average" man is actually encouraged to "try his luck" so to speak.
If the average woman didn't respond favorably to that foolishness then the average man wouldn't feel so empowered to step across those boundaries. You just stay firm in your own boundaries and once men know what your boundaries are and that they are strong, I promise you they will respect them... even though they might try to test your defenses first. :)
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Bo do you believe we can be Happy ? And that happiness can be contagious ?
Can we be happy? Absolutely. Happy is a choice not a condition. No matter what our circumstances we can choose to be happy. Ultimately it's a matter of perspective. When we are insecure, immature, or lose perspective we give our right to choose happiness over to the things, situations, and people around us. We look for things and people to make us happy and that's a dead end road. That's not happy, that's just distracted.
True, things and people can make us feel good but true happiness comes from within. True happiness is rooted in what we know, feel, and believe in our hearts. And what's in our hearts is closely tied to our faith. A faith in a higher power makes dealing with life's ups and downs much, much easier. Faith create stability and confidence in every situation and in any circumstance. With the power of faith we take back control over our own happiness and we choose to be happy even when other people can't understand why.
As for happiness being contagious? I don't know if true happiness is contagious, because again it's a function of faith and it's a choice. However, I do know that smiles are contagious, laughing is contagious, positive thinking is contagious, generosity is contagious, courtesy is contagious, and love is contagious. All of these things can make other's happier... But if you really want someone to experience true happiness no matter their circumstance it's not your happiness you need to share, it's your faith. It's like teaching them to fish. If you smile they will smile back for a minute or two never really knowing why. But if you explain to them why you're smiling then they can be empowered to choose the same happiness you have for the rest of their life.
I hope I answered your question fam. Thanks for stopping by.
=========================
To find my books or CDs please visit: http://www.BoSpeaks.com/
=========================
Steven “Bo” Beaudoin Jr.
Husband, Father, Friend, Mentor, Author, Speaker, Trainer, Professional Life/Relationship Coach, Entrepreneur, and Philanthropist. A champion of Christ centered clarity, motivation, and focus.
2M Communications ©2012 Copyright, Steven Beaudoin Jr. All Rights Reserved.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Thank you so much for suggesting that I check out your page I love it. I recently in this last year joined church and since my life has changed in so so many ways and I am grateful. How do I know when I have found my purpose in life?
Hey sis, congratulations on finding a new church and getting connected. Church isn’t for everyone but for those of us that are in critical stages of our life a good Bible teaching church with sound submitted leadership is a God send; so congratulations again.
As for your question about knowing when you’ve “found your purpose in life”? That’s a BIG one. I don’t believe there are any easy answers to that one. Not because our purpose is hard to find, but because the concept of a life’s purpose is actually really difficult to understand. And as such just about everyone you ask will have a different perspective and tell you something different. It is easy to get confused and/or discouraged trying to get anyone to give you a straight answer. Even now it may feel as if I’m somehow avoiding the question, but I assure you I am not. It’s just a very difficult question to answer.
For example, to most people the idea of a life’s purpose is presented as some kind of spiritual graduation ceremony or the finish to some super natural race. As if you must have achieved some level or spiritual superiority to actually find your purpose. Many people represent the concept of life’s purpose as some kind of finish line or coronation. I personally think that couldn’t be any further from the truth. But I can most certainly see how easily the destination might be confused with the process.
I don’t view our purpose as a destination, but as a journey; a process. And even further I certainly don’t see a life’s purpose in “WHAT or WHERE we do” as much as I see it in “WHY and HOW we do”. Ultimately, I believe our purpose IS TO MASTER THE JOURNEY of accepting, submitting, embracing, and being liberated by and in the freedom to serve God seamlessly in EVERYTHING we do. I believe searching for WHAT or WHERE our purpose is, is a natural but very self centered approach. Part of our journey is being liberated from defining ourselves by WHAT or WHERE we are and redefining ourselves according to God’s OMNIPOTENCE and OMIPRESENCE. It’s not about us… really it’s not.
Ultimately, it’s not about our purpose. It’s about being willing, able, and eager to serve the purposes of God where ever we might be and in whatever way that presents itself on our journey. Sis, I believe that once we have assumed the appropriate posture of genuine joy and submission in the serving the Lord God can use us to do anything, anywhere, and at any time… and in that way it is not about OUR purpose, BUT His.
One year that purpose might be to feed the homeless, the next year it might be to minister to orphans, the year after that it might be to evangelize a work place, or it may just be to be the best parent and spouse we can be in the family that God has given us. In this way our journey is simplified… We are to simply do WHATEVER we do as if we are doing it unto the Lord. No mystery… But we like to think more highly of ourselves than we ought, so many of us refuse to believe it could possibly be that simple.
I believe our real journey is internal and therefore I believe our real rewards and our real purpose are also manifested internally. Once we have died to the notion that we have some great purpose other than simply serving God in any way we can, it is only then that we are truly fit to serve any great purpose at all. It is then that I believe God will use us to do His will; to fulfill His purpose... not ours. It is in this personal death and resurrection that our true HIGHER purpose is ultimately served… Again not specifically in WHAT or WHERE we do anything… but in WHY and HOW we do everything.
Sis, please remember, this is just my own personal perspective. But you asked, so :)... I hope this helps.
Bo
Monday, November 28, 2011
Wouldn’t marriages would be so much stronger if we wait for the mate that God has for us?
I want to make sure we don't over romanticize Christian marriage. I believe far too many women and men have been fooled into believing there is only one person in all of the world who God has created specifically for them... I just don't believe that.
As much as I love my wife and I am convinced she is perfect for me, I am certain that was not the case before or early on in our marriage. God actually used our marriage to perfect us for each other. It's a very involved process and a very tough process at that. So tough in fact, most people literally run away from it as soon as it starts to hurt a little, just like little kids run from the dentist. But as Christian husbands and wives we simply must understand God uses each spouse to chip away at and sand down the rough edges on the other. God uses each spouse to polish the other into a perfectly fitting piece for the other. This perfection happens AFTER the wedding... not before.
I've said this quite a few times in the last 3 or 4 months, no two people are perfect for each other prior to marriage. My wife and I were not either. 20 years ago I actually chose my wife and she chose me. In fact, I am actually my wife’s second husband. And the truth is she chose us both. And it would be easy to just think she must have chosen better the second time, but that would only be partially true. The truth is she was much more mature when I met her and much more ready and willing to do things God's way. Had I married the same woman her first husband was married to we would have very likely gotten divorced too.
So yes, choosing the right “kind” of person is important just as important as being the right kind of person. But in the end, I don’t believe there is just ONE right person that God is hiding from you until just the right moment. That’s some Hollywood stuff. What God wants is for two people to choose each other and then the two of them to choose Him. That’s what we did sis… and our daily decisions to let His Word decide our differences and direct our paths is what has been actively perfecting us for each other ever since.
I think the real tragic irony here is that so many people are sitting around waiting on God to bring them the perfect person and at the same time God is waiting on them to trust Him enough to perfect them together.
Hope that helps fam.
==========================
To find my books and CDs on Motivation, Inspiration, Love and Relationships please visit:
<a href="http://www.BoSpeaks.com">BoSpeaks.com</a>;
=========================
For more about me visit:
<a href="http://about.me/BoSpeaks">About.me/BoSpeaks</a>;
Steven “Bo” Beaudoin Jr.
Husband, Father, Friend, Mentor, Author, Speaker, Trainer, Professional Life/Relationship Coach, Entrepreneur, and Philanthropist. He is a champion of Christ centered clarity, motivation, and focus.
2M Communications ©2011 Copyright, Steven Beaudoin Jr. All Rights Reserved. LEGAL: This original work is copyright protected and may only be reposted, reproduced, or redistributed in its entirety including title, author, content, and copyright information. Any other use or reproduction in full or in part must be pre-approved and authorized in writing by the copyright holder, Steven Beaudoin Jr.
Monday, October 31, 2011
I greatly admire you. While In my opinion, no two thinkers will agree on everything. I feel drawn to almost the same activities you now do. Counseling, writing, speaking, entrepreneurship. When did you start? How did you get started?
It’s always such a blessing to know that there are people who appreciate your efforts. So I consider your kind words of support a gift to me. Thank you.
To be clear, I am a professional Life Coach, but I have never been a "Counselor". Counseling is a very noble and necessary profession that should be left to the certified professionals. I have no formal training that qualifies me as a counselor and I am certain to make sure that the people I “coach” know the difference in no uncertain terms.
Truthfully, your question about “how I [got] started?” is actually quite difficult to answer. I honestly don’t feel like I’ve ever NOT done what I do. I can recall household unrest from my earliest childhood memories and I can also recall trying to find the words during those episodes to stop my Mama from crying, cheer up, and stay positive. In that way, I've been an encourager, problem solver, motivator, and coach for as long as I can remember. The seeds were planted then and there, so I recognize and appreciate them for exactly what they were. Who I am now is a self fulfilling revelation in many ways and it is something with which I have not always been comfortable.
My built in knack to coach, console, guide, and teach became more evident throughout my youth and into my adult life. I’ve always either been drafted or drawn into roles that required me to speak on behalf of others and/or coach/mentor/train them in various capacities.
The writing and speaking you mentioned are really just a function of my problem solving skills and not a part of some grand plan. :)) Different people learn and process information in different ways. So I’ve simply tried to find new ways to communicate what I feel I’ve been given to share. Books, CDs, speaking, blogs, facebook, twitter, etc… I don’t feel in any way defined or confined by any of those different avenues because the message is unchanged. It is the medium which is altered to reach different audiences so I don't really consider myself to be an "Author" so much as a person that writes. The same can be said for "Speaker"; I'm just a person who speaks. The real distinctions in my mind are vocation and intention. Neither of which I can or desire to associate with writing and speaking.
I said all that to say I really don’t know of any particular starting point. I just do what I feel most passionate about doing… helping, educating, liberating, and sharing with people. That’s who I am. And I would also venture so far as to say that is who I’ve always been, because that is who I was created to be. No real start point to identify.
So if you have a passion fam pursue it. Be patient and make sure WHAT you do never dictates or dominates WHO you are. And if you are humble enough to add faith, stewardship, and accountability to what you do, ALL the rest of that stuff you asked about “Counseling, writing, speaking, entrepreneurship” will take care of itself.
I hope that answers your question fam. Thanks for asking... and thanks again for the encouragement.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
I am interested in someone. He is single and unattached, brilliant and easy to talk to. I want more, to really have a chance to get to know him, to be open to possibilities. How do I express interest without pouncing or seeming aggressive?
Caron! Good to hear from you sis. Thanks for trusting me with your question.
The first that comes to mind is that if you don't want to be viewed as "pouncing or seeming aggressive” then don’t be. You said in your question that he’s “easy to talk to” which implies that you have spoken to him on more than one occasion. I would say explore way to expand the conversation around whatever venue, forum, or activity that has already caused you two to cross paths. Whatever you have in common already is the best way to take it up a notch without seeming too aggressive.
Ask questions, ask for assistance, ask for advice, suggest coffee or lunch to discuss something he may be able to assist with, collaborate on, or give advice about… it’s OK for a woman to make such suggestions when there is a legitimate association already established, even if only in passing. Where some women get in trouble is “dictating” and “demanding” things go a certain way at a particular time. Most men think casual “suggestions” show confidence and availability…
Just be sure of two things. #1, you really do have something to talk about. Information, advice, collaboration, etc… You need something to carry the first couple of conversations. #2, you have no expectations of his availability or desire to pursue the association beyond the questions/advice for which you’ve asked. Any unfounded “expectations” are a definite turn off that puts too much pressure on the man to reciprocate your intentions. Too early for that.
If there’s a real connection it will become evident in your conversations. Let things take their course naturally. If there’s something there you will both get a sense of that and more reasons to meet/talk/discuss/and get to know each other will ensue.
Hope that helps sis.
