Bo, How important is sex in a marriage? I am asking because I have met a great guy however (we have not had intercourse) I have seen his private parts during some heavy foreplay and it is EXTREMELY small. Should this matter?

Umm... so... are you asking about the importance of sex IN MARRIAGE? Or are you talking about the importance of a male's sexual prowess IN GENERAL? These are two TOTALLY different questions, so I'll attempt to address both.

So let’s talk start with “IN GENERAL.” The question you asked, should [the size of his private parts] matter? And the answer is, “Of course it matters.” Or at least I’m quite certain that it matters to you, because you are already concerned enough to ask. Additionally, how would you know what is “small” and what is “large”? The fact that you asked the question implies that you must have some point of reference to compare. If you cannot get over “comparing” then this could definitely be a deal breaker for you. (SIDEBAR:: This is just one of the reasons abstinence before marriage is so preferable.)

The other aspect of the question was about the importance of sex in a marriage. I’ll assume since you are asking me you are talking about a Christian marriage? And in that case, the answer to whether sex is important to marriage is, “Sex is so important and so central to marriage that the Bible teaches you can’t actually and officially be married without it.” But even in that we now need to make sure we distinguish between “sex” and “sexual fulfillment”. Sex alone is very technical and tactile and because it is a totally physical act the physical characteristics of a partner’s sexual organs are very important and potentially paramount. In “sex”, it is all about the act itself, so the size issue could definitely be a deal breaker.

But when it comes to sexual fulfillment, and not JUST sex, we are no longer simply focusing on the technical “act” or physiology of sex. Sexual fulfillment is also very much about the psychology of intimacy, security/vulnerability, passion, union, and communion. Obviously with all of those additional elements at play the size of a partner’s manhood would play a far lesser role in sexual fulfillment than it would potentially play in the simple act of sex alone.

And in a Christian marriage the act of “sex” is far less important that the ability to share “sexual fulfillment”. So you have to ask yourself which is your primary objective? If you’re simply looking for sex, he might not be the guy for you. But if you are looking for lifelong sexual fulfillment in a committed relationship… Who says he’s not the guy?

Bottom line and all things considered, this size issue alone doesn’t have to be a “deal breaker”. But no one can answer that question for you, but you. If it’s a problem for you it’s a problem for you… No need to apologize for that. Be true to yourself. But also think about this, would you rather be married to a man that is more well endowed, but is much less capable of loving you and caring for you and your children? Just another one of the MANY things that you should consider about this "GREAT GUY" along with the size issue.

Hope that helps sis.
ya bruh,
Bo

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