I'm in love with a man that has a woman (not wife)/ they have a child. we were in a short relationship but he went back home. I still care for him. what can i do to stop sleeping with him? im worth more than that but its so hard to resist him, then when h

I'm in love with a man that has a woman (not wife)/ they have a child. we were in a short relationship but he went back home. I still care for him. what can i do to stop sleeping with him? im worth more than that but its so hard to resist him, then when he leaves i feel so bad and guilty.

What can you do to stop sleeping with him? Stop. Well, let me put it this way you obviously don’t like the current set up or you wouldn’t be asking this question. So you’ve realized now that ‘something’ has to STOP. So let’s take inventory… Option #1. You seem resigned to the fact that he won’t stop and why should he… from his perspective he probably feels like he’s got a pretty nice set up. Option #2. His woman could stop it… Another unlikely scenario, because they have a child and he’s not married to her and she’s pretty much settled for taking what she can get too. So I don’t think she’ll be much help to you either.

So… that leads us to Option #3. You stop it. But you’re in so deep now you’re addicted to the situation. It has become the pain you know… and you seem to prefer it to the pain you don’t know. At this point, there’s nothing in your statement that leads me to believe you have the strength to stop this on your own. Because when you really want to stop it… you will. But that brings us to Option #4. Stop lying to yourself. You are obviously OK with this setup on some level… And that’s the real problem. That’s why you are so conflicted. You think in your head this should be a problem for you, but in your heart it really isn’t. That’s a very, very, dangerous place to be mentally. Sounds like you might have some self-esteem issues that have caused you to settle for this mess.

So, what am I recommending… Option 5. Contact this “man” and tell him all the things you are feeling, better yet, write a letter. In the letter explain that this relationship is unhealthy. Explain that it makes you feel sad, bad, and guilty. Tell him you don’t want to feel that way and you deserve to feel better. Tell him that you have figured out that he and this situation is not good for you. But that you don’t have the strength to stand up for yourself. Tell him you are praying that he is man enough and that he love you enough to stand up for the both of you… If he truly cares for you… he’ll walk away. If he loves himself, he’ll ignore your plea and try to make you OK, with his sweet setup no matter how it makes you feel.

What do you have to lose? Either he’s man enough to walk away. Or you’ll find out he cares more about himself than you and really doesn’t deserve your love and loyalty. Either response should give you some new options you don’t seem to have right now. And looking forward, whether you end this or not, you must work on your self image sis. You simply must get to a point that you truly value your own sense of self worth at least as much as you seem to value loyalty. But... here's a secret that trumps all the information above... if you really want to stop… just Stop.

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